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Steven Colbert's Take On Dental News: 1800Dentist.com

American political actor, writer satirist and television host Steven Colbert presents factual news in a satirical way on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report. No topic is off limits to the "well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot", character portrayed by Colbert and dental care is included in that mix (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/25/magazine/25questions.html.)

During 2011, most of the media focused on stories surrounding celebrity antics, the raising of the Debt Ceiling and the death of Osama Bin Laden. Colbert has done that and more by providing commentary on a number of trends in the dental industry including a retraction in the toothpaste market, the struggling "baby tooth economy" and the unusual teeth of a man who successfully foreclosed on those who were trying to foreclose on him.

RIP Toothpaste

America is known as the land of plenty and that is apparent to consumers charged with the task of buying toothpaste for the oral hygiene needs of their loved ones. Hundreds of different dental care products fill store shelves and promote a variety of perks such as flavor, tooth whitening abilities, combating halitosis and being gentle enough for sensitive teeth. The Wall Street Journal addressed those facts and Colbert opted to focus his attention on how he would now struggle to brush all 32 of his teeth with different options as toothpaste manufactures are "putting the breaks on new-product introductions" (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703373404576148363319407354.html).

According to the WSJ report, there are now only 352 toothpaste varieties available, down from a the 412 recorded in March 2008 by Spire LLC. Colbert shed crocodile tears over the travesty and paid special tribute to some of the toothpastes that have died. Individuals mourning the death of their preferred toothpaste still have hundreds to choose from. Those overwhelmed by the task should seek the professional advice of their dentist to help in the decision-making products.


"Baby Tooth Economy"

The nation's economy is under a constant microscope and Colbert decided to put the declining "baby tooth economy" under the device for a segment that originally aired on August 2, 2011. The story originated on News 12 Long Island (http://www.news12.com/home.jsp) and unearthed the fact that the tooth fairy is feeling the recession's pinch. Now the magical icon is leaving an average of $2.60 per baby tooth, down from 2010's $3 average per tooth. Once Colbert crunched the numbers he determined that the average worth of a child's "mouth portfolio" now only totals $52. His advice to his own children was to diversify into tusks.

Vampire Teeth

In 2011, the nation is still suffering from a foreclosure epidemic sparred by the mortgage meltdown circa 2007. Daily, the news is filled with tails of banks erroneously and illegally trying to foreclose on the homes of struggling mortgage holders. Recently the airwaves were filled with the tale of Patrick Rodgers, a Philadelphia resident who stood up against Wells Fargo bank and foreclosed on them after they refused to pay a judgment issued in his favor.

Aside from Rodgers' phenomenal success story along the lines of "Davey and Goliath" Colbert was most impressed that Rodgers was a sporting elongated teeth and had the fangs of a Vampire. Colbert was 'enraged' that CNN anchors and FOX news skipped the tale of Rodgers Vampire lifestyle and instead focused on the man sticking it to the bank. Colbert tried to extract more information about Rodgers lifestyle in his interview but as it turns out, the only thing unusual about this gentleman is that his canine teeth are elongated on both sides of his mouth.

Steven Colbert is like a great dentist; because of his skill set, he makes it easier for individuals to deal with the bad news surrounding an issue. Despite Colbert's spin on dental problems, individuals should not entrust him with taking care of their teeth. A better option is to find a dentist by calling 1-800-DENTIST. Our friendly operators know that dental care is no laughing matter and can connect you to a qualified dentist up to the task of ensuring your dental health is up to snuff.

 
 
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